I'm Dreaming of a Blue Christmas
by MrDrP
Summary: Will this be the year that Drakken's Yuletide dreams finally come true? COMPLETE


As it has been in years gone by, it is my pleasure to offer a little something for the season. Enjoy!

Many thanks to campy for beta and proofreading this tale. I've asked Santa to leave an extra naco in your stocking.

Leave a review, and I'll send a response.

KP © Disney

"Uggh. Do I even want to know?" Shego asked as she came upon her compadre in villainy and awk-weird romance fiddling with what looked like a modified version of his Super High Pollinator.

"Only if you're interested in total global domination," he said with satisfaction.

"Like that's ever going to happen," she sneered.

"Mock all you want, but seventy-third time's the charm!" he countered.

"Okay, I'll give you the possibility, the highly unlikely, extremely improbable possibility that you could take over the world …"

"Thank you."

"… But I'm not saying it's going to happen."

"Your lack of confidence wounds me," Drakken sniffed.

"Doc, you're wearing your daisy gun! Recycling failed schemes doesn't exactly scream 'success.'"

"For the record, I defeated an alien invasion with the Super High Pollinator. The world was mine for the taking."

"Except Princess's Monkey Boy would have flattened you if you'd tried."

"That's why I'm done dealing with the symptoms of my lack of success …"

"You mean failure."

"You say potato, I say potahto …"

"Whatever."

"With this modified version of my greatest invention yet I will not only defeat Kim Possible and what's his name, I will turn them into my obedient minions who will advance my plans for world conquest."

"And how will turning Kimmie and her boyfriend into flower children do that?"

"It won't."

"Okay, you've lost me. Not that I'm not used to it."

"The Super High Pollinator is filled with a highly potent version of my mind-control shampoo. When Kim Possible and the buffoon drop through that vent – which they will undoubtedly do in just a few moments thanks to a superior act of deception which will have led them to believe that I have stolen the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer – I will spray them and then, whammo!"

"Whammo?"

"Whammo, Shego!" Drakken exclaimed gleefully. "Two pliable patsies—three if the pink weasel thing is with them—ready to do my bidding! This year, the Doctor's Yuletide dreams are coming true!"

"That is so whacked it might actually work," she conceded.

"So, you're acknowledging my genius?"

"No, not really. I'm still putting my money on this going south somehow."

"I'll make you a bet, then: If I fail, no karaoke for six months."

"And if you succeed?"

"We go to the Karaoke bar for New Year's Eve and you sing 'Dancing Queen,' 'Copacabana,' and 'Staying Alive.'"

"Make it a year and you're on," she said, just as the klaxon began ringing and red lights flashed.

"She's here!" Drakken proclaimed triumphantly as he checked the settings on his device.

"Ya think?" Shego observed.

Four screws fell to the ground, followed by a grate. Then Kim, Ron, and Rufus followed.

"Kim Possible!" Drakken exclaimed. "Now I'm going to get everything I want for Christmas!"

"The only thing you're going to get is a trip to jail," Kim snapped.

"And a lump of coal," Ron added.

"Yeah!" Rufus chirped.

"Oh, I'm getting a lot more than a lump of coal, Buffoon!" the blue villain said with delight as he sprayed his visitors with the modified shampoo.

"Gross!" Kim said as she looked down at her soaked purple mission top in angered disgust. Before she could say anything else, however, the shampoo took effect and Kim looked up, her expression blank, her eyes vacant. Ron and Rufus sported similar expressions.

"Behold, my new minions!" Drakken declared triumphantly.

"Minions? They're just standing there. They're more like zombies."

"Possible, Buffoon, Pink Weasel Thing, do the robot."

The two teens and one mole rat began dancing.

"No way," Shego said. "You actually beat Princess."

"I did indeed," he crowed. "And you know what that means! Someone's going to be singing her heart out on New Year's Eve!"

"Oy," Shego groaned as Kim, Ron, and Rufus continued to dance. "So, what's next? Your big plan can't be to have them boogie your way to power."

"Give me my props, Shego," Drakken said. "I have much bigger plans for Team Possible or, as they'll now be known, Team Drakken. But first they need to change."

"Change?"

"I have some special uniforms for them," he said as he picked up a box.

"Possible, Buffoon, Pink Weasel Thing: Here are your new clothes. The locker room is down the hall, past the kitchen. Change and report back to me. And bring me a glass of cocoa moo on your way back."

"Yes, Doctor Drakken," the trio replied as they turned to leave the room.

"Now what?" Shego asked after they had left.

"You'll see," Drakken replied smugly.

A few moments later, Kim, Ron, and Rufus, sporting their new uniforms, returned with Drakken's chocolate milk. Drakken beamed, obviously quite pleased with his fashion choice, while Shego began laughing. Soon she was doubled over in hysterics. "You're not really going to send them out dressed like that, are you?" she asked after she finally caught her breath.

"Of course I am," Drakken said. "It's seasonal."

Kim and Ron were dressed in red and green elf outfits while Rufus was wearing a small pair of antlers and a red nose.

"You really are evil," Shego said approvingly. "Kimmie will never live this down."

"That's the idea," Drakken replied. Then he turned to Kim, Ron, and Rufus. "Team Drakken, you will take this device," he handed the Super High Pollinator to Kim, "and spray your tech guru, James Timothy Possible, those annoying twins, and Nana Possible. Then you will bring them here. Now go and be quick about it."

"Yes, Doctor Drakken," Kim, Ron, and Rufus said. Then they turned and left.

"Okay, Doc, I've got an idea as to what you're up to, but you've earned some gloating. Go for it."

"Why thank you," Drakken said, touched by Shego's magnanimity.

"Hey, 'tis the season and all that," she said with a shrug.

"While I might be a super genius, Team Possible's tech guru, James Possible and those annoying pretend clones possess enough brain power to ensure that any scheme I develop will have to succeed."

Shego nodded approvingly. "Okay, stacking the deck. Works for me. But why the grandmother?"

"Surely you haven't forgotten how dangerous that woman is! She was able to beat Kim Possible in a fight. With Nana Possible under my control, nobody will be able to stop me. Besides, her lemon squares are dee-lish."

"Okay, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but it sounds like you've actually got a real plan here. What next?"

"We watch this!" Drakken declared as he whipped out a DVD.

"Snowman Hank?"

"This isn't 'just' Snowman Hank. It's the digitally remastered, enhanced soundtrack edition with all of the lost scenes restored."

"And how is watching that going to help us take over the world?"

"While Team Drakken is out spreading holiday cheer, the Doctor will be relaxing – and preparing for the next phase of Operation Blue Christmas."

"Okay, if you say so," Shego said skeptically as she wandered towards the kitchen. "You want anything else?"

"Some S'mores, please," Drakken said as he settled into his Corinthian leather-clad Evil Lounge Chair™.

"You got it," she said.

Half an hour later, as the final credits were rolling, Kim, Ron, and Rufus showed up with Drakken's newest lackeys.

"Excellent work," he said as he savored the sight of his old college classmate staring blankly into space. "Now, it's time for Phase Two. You, you, you and you," he said, pointing to James, the Tweebs and Wade, "get to work on converting my mind-control shampoo into an aerosol form. Then think up a foolproof delivery system. You three," he continued, pointing to Kim, Ron, and Rufus, "find Professor Dementor, brainwash him using the Super High Pollinator, and bring him here. And you," Drakken concluded as he pivoted towards Nana, "Go bake some lemon squares."

"Yes, Doctor Drakken," the group responded in unison.

Drakken watched in satisfaction as his drones headed off to complete their assignments. An hour later, Kim, Ron, and Rufus returned with Dementor just as Nana emerged from the kitchen with a batch of fresh lemon squares.

"Oh, this is too good," Drakken said as he looked at his foe.

"You gonna have him join the other geeks in the lab?"

"No," Drakken said. "I have something else in mind for him. Demens, tell everyone here how it is your privilege to bask in my genius."

"It is a privilege to be basking in ze genius of DOCTOR DRAKKEN!"

"Huh," Shego said.

"What?"

"Even brainwashed he's loud."

"I'm an evil genius, not a miracle worker," Drakken said as James, Jim, Tim, and Wade entered the room.

"We have completed our assignment, Doctor Drakken," James announced.

"Oh, goodie!" Drakken said. "Now to Phase Three. Soon, the entire world will be mine! Finally! World conquest will be mine, and just in time for Christmas! Muwahahahahahahahaha!"

"Drew …"

Drakken heard Shego call his name and wanted to respond but suddenly felt as if he were lost in an all-enveloping fog.

"… Come on, Drew, your dopey show's coming on …"

Drakken looked at Shego. He was surprised to see her wearing her green and black silk pajamas and matching robe. He was sure she'd just been wearing her jumpsuit.

"W-what?"

"Snowman Hank. It's 1:30 AM."

"1:30 AM?" Drakken then realized that he, too, was wearing his sleepwear. "What am I doing here?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "You're the one who wanted to stay up to watch your show once you found out it was on cable. Why you wouldn't just let me jack the DVD from the bargain bin at Smarty Mart is beyond me."

"But … but…" Drakken sputtered as he surveyed the lair. Everything had changed. His minions were gone. "Where's Kim Possible?"

"At home with Stoppable, pulling out her hair trying to assemble toys for their kids. Why do you care?"

"They were here … my loyal, mindless minions. I was finally going to take over the world!"

Shego snorted. "After all these years you still can't give up on dreams of world domination, can you?"

Drakken sighed.

"You remember what you did in your dream? Maybe you could try it in real life."

Drakken tried to recall what had happened but failed. "Nnnngggggg," he growled in frustration. "It's no fair! Why can I only remember the bad ones?"

"Too much cocoa moo before bedtime?" she gibed playfully.

"One can never have too much moo," Drakken replied indignantly. "Well, I know it's late. Thank you for waking me up. I'm sure you'd like to go to bed."

"Nah, I'll watch with you," Shego said as she surprised Drakken by snuggling into him.

"But I thought you hated Snowman Hank."

Shego grinned, then kissed Drakken on the cheek. "Cartoon snowmen may not do much for me, but my husband does. So, while I can't give you the world, I can at least give you your favorite TV show. Merry Christmas, Drew."

"And to you, too, Shego," he said. Then he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, made sure he was comfortable, and settled in to enjoy his favorite cartoon. As the Snowman Hank theme music began to play Drakken looked over at Shego and realized that it didn't matter if he never conquered the world. He already had everything he wanted for Christmas.

_The End._

Season's Greetings from MrDrP, MrsDrP, ToddlerDrP, and PuppyDrP!

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p.s. If you're kind enough to leave a review, please don't reveal the ending unless you want to find a lump of coal in your stocking!


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